To The Person Who Thinks My Son Should Be Institutionalized.

iStock_59077660_MEDIUM-1024x682To The Person Who Thinks My Son Should Be Institutionalized.

As foster and adoptive parents, we’ve overheard all kinds of awful things spoken about our children, even to our children. Recently, I heard something that caused my blood to boil, and my heart to break…

As I type these words, I go back in my mind to the moment you said those horrible words- “Well, if he has brain damage, he should be in an institution.” I’m sitting here trying to convince myself that you didn’t mean them…that your words were misheard by me…that you don’t really feel that way. But, I’m not sure if that’s the case.

I think you did mean them. More than that, my precious child thinks you meant them too. He overheard what you said. He’s been told things like this before from people who didn’t mean well…didn’t have his best interest in mind. He’s had to live with the reality that he’s not normal, and never will be.

He knows he has Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder and that a part of his brain will always be missing. At 13, he’s already begun processing the truth that his birth mother chose drugs and alcohol over his health when he was in her womb. It hasn’t been easy truth to face.

And what you did not realize was that we’re already wrestling over whether or not to find a place, other than our home, for him to live in order to keep him safe. And no, it’s not an “institution.” Because this is 2016, not 1916 when people chose to discard human beings like they were trash instead of fight for them…love them…care for them. The decision is crushing us to the bone. We’re not sure what to do. Because of his disorder, he’s almost incapable of making wise choices. Choices that keep him safe…the kind that we all learn in a normal-functioning state of mind, growing up.

It’s not like you care about any of that, however. There’s no ounce of your being that cares whether his heart heals. You were only annoyed with his behavior, and that’s why you said those disgusting words. Words like bullets, that can never be un-fired.

While you were busy spouting off horrible words, you missed the bigger picture…

  1. He HAS a future. As you spoke those poisonous words in his presence, and he started to believe you, you blew past one single truth about every human being on this planet…. purpose! All 7 billion of us on this spinning rock have purpose. There was no mistake when any of us were born. None of us were accidents. My son was no accident. Even in the midst of a horrible disorder that could have been prevented. Even though I deal with unbelievable trials with him. He has a future!
  2. He’s not an animal. You reduced him to that when you said he belonged in an institution. As if he were some animal who escaped from the zoo. You called him a monster in the same breath that you said he belonged in an institution. Your view was clouded by his momentary behavior (which I called him out on). He’s not an animal…he’s a child. He’s still learning how to function in this world. Add to that a disorder that causes impulsion, aggression, and lapse of judgement and this is what you get. By the way, this is what I live with 24/7. I don’t see an animal…I see my son!
  3. He’s a human being. Do you want to know why our country is divided right now? It’s not because of two politicians who act like toddlers in suits. It’s because we have failed to see everyone as they really are- human beings. Living, breathing, beautiful, precious human beings.Everyone. Because of that, we are all entitled to fair treatment…always! My son included. He’s a human being. Is he imperfect? By all means, yes. But so are you and so am I!

I can’t stop you from saying hurtful words like you said, but I can call you out for saying them. And, by-golly, I can make sure my son never goes near you again. You can be sure of that.

At the end of this day, I’m not angry with you, nor do I harbor ill-feelings toward you (as this letter may reflect). I feel sorry for you. You miss so much beauty in the world, by always seeing people’s flaws. Sometimes you must choose to see the good in people even when it’s cluttered by behavior, or attitude. It’s there however. Hidden behind brokenness.

Maybe some day, before it’s too late, you’ll see it.

Retrieved from: http://confessionsofanadoptiveparent.com/to-the-person-who-thinks-my-son-should-be-institutionalized/?utm_content=buffer40a6d&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

10 Things You Need To Know About FASD

90 Real People. Real Lives – Red Shoes Rock International Relay Guest Blogger Ann Yurcek Visit her blog at Parenting Complex Children Day 10 Ten Things You Need to Know About FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders) People with FASD have challenges due to no fault of their own. They are innocent victims of Prenatal Alcohol […]

via 10 Things You Need to Know About #FASD — Lighter Side of FASD

Sympathy, shame, and few solutions: News media portrayals of fetal alcohol spectrum disorders

The Prevention Conversation: A Shared Responsibility Project

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Sympathy, shame, and few solutions: News media portrayals of fetal alcohol spectrum disorders

Objective:

There is a lack of public understanding about fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASD), and
many countries lack policies to deal with FASD concerns. Given the role of news media in disseminating a range of health information, the aim of the current study was to explore the media coverage on alcohol use during pregnancy and FASD, and to identify ways to improve associated health messages.

Design:

The current study uses a framing analysis of news media reports about FASD over a 1-year period. Framing analysis seeks to better understand how media messages serve to shape the thoughts, feelings, and decisions of readers.

Findings:

Two frames dominated the media coverage of FASD: a frame of sympathy, and a frame of
shame. Some news media encouraged feelings of sympathy for children with FASD, while others encouraged sympathy…

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Higher autism prevalence in children prenatally exposed to alcohol: pilot study

Higher autism prevalence in children prenatally exposed to alcohol: pilot study

New study on autism

 

A new pilot study found that the prevalence of autism among children prenatally exposed to alcohol was significantly higher than the prevalence in the overall Canadian population.

The study, which will be presented at the Canadian Paediatric Society’s annual conference in P.E.I. this week, examined the case reports of 300 Ontario children aged three to 16 who were exposed to alcohol in the womb.

Researchers reviewed the case reports to determine the prevalence of autism, number of children diagnosed with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD), and other demographic data.

FASDs are a group of conditions that can present in children whose mother drank alcohol during pregnancy, and are among the leading causes of cognitive and developmental disability among Canadian children. FASD symptoms can range from mild to severe, and may include physical, mental, behavioural, and learning disabilities.

The researchers found that 4.7 per cent (or 14) of the 300 children had been diagnosed with autism. By comparison, the prevalence of autism among the general Canadian population is 1.1 per cent.

The study also found the following:

  • Of the 14 children who were diagnosed with autism, half were boys and half were girls;
  • Two additional children had autistic features, but did not meet the criteria for a formal diagnosis;
  • Of these 16 children, all were diagnosed with FASD.

Dr. Brenda Stade, co-author of the study and head of St. Michael’s Hospital Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder Clinic, told CTVNews.ca that researchers aren’t sure what’s behind the association between prenatal alcohol exposure and autism.

“Whether alcohol is actually causing autism symptoms, we don’t know,” she said. “We can only say that there’s a correlation, but we don’t know exactly why.”

Stade noted that there may be some overlap between FASD symptoms and the symptoms associated with autism. However, she said, children diagnosed with autism in the study presented with symptoms of both disorders.

She recommends that children who are being screened for FASD should also be screened for autism to ensure they’re getting every available intervention.

“We don’t want to miss those kids who could benefit from specific interventions developed for autism,” she said.

Marlene Leung, CTVNews.ca

Retrieved from: http://www.ctvnews.ca/health/higher-autism-prevalence-in-children-prenatally-exposed-to-alcohol-pilot-study-1.2956199#_gus&_gucid=&_gup=twitter&_gsc=WLi3TIh

Nevada, USA: The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges (NCJFCJ) Assists Legal Professionals with Understanding Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD)

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Reno – The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges (NCJFCJ) has released a new guide to assist judges and the legal community in understanding Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD). The Guide helps legal professionals respond to individuals within the court who suffer from a FASD and enables judges to take a leadership position in increasing awareness and understanding of the need for targeted interventions.

The NCJFCJ prepared the guide as part of a project jointly funded under an interagency agreement (IAA) between the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), National Institutes of Health (NIH), U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP), Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice.

According to the Center for Disease Control, up to one in twenty children in the U.S. are affected by FASD, which is caused by the consumption of alcohol during pregnancy. Alcohol exposure during pregnancy is a major cause of neurodevelopmental impairments and learning disabilities in the U.S. and is 100 percent preventable. However, for most children with FASD, there are no obvious physical manifestations, and IQ deficits, if any, vary greatly.

Together, with OJJDP and NIAAA, the NCJFCJ created Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders: Implications for Juvenile and Family Court Judges, with input from juvenile and family court judges, and experts from around the country to increase judicial knowledge of FASD, including implications for court proceedings and case dispositions involving children and families affected by FASD; increase awareness of available resources and services for children and families affected by FASD; and, provide guidance on judicial leadership. The ultimate goal of the guide is to improve the court process and outcomes for children, families, and communities affected by FASD.

“Based on my experience in a large urban juvenile court, FASD is a significant, unrecognized problem in our juvenile and family courts. Recognizing and understanding FASD is critical for judges in improving outcomes for youth and families impacted by this disability. This will be an excellent resource in an easy to understand format for judges to begin that understanding,” said former first lady of Minnesota and Juvenile Court Judge Susan Carlson (Ret.).

Children and adults often end up involved in the legal system due to poor self-regulation and self-control. This is often the case with children in juvenile justice (delinquency) cases, as well a critical issue in dependency cases for both children and parents. Courts are challenged when working with people with poor self-regulation, as the services and supports they require need to take this into account and be focused on individual needs.

With guidance and more flexibility in the manner in which the legal system responds to the challenges of FASD, coupled with more informed and available support services, the quality of life for those living with FASD and their communities can be improved.

“FASD may be a hidden factor in many cases that come before juvenile and family courts and judges have the ability to identify common signs, make appropriate orders for services, and even prevent future children from being affected by engaging with parents in a meaningful way,” said Crystal Duarte, MPA, NCJFCJ’s director of coordinated policy and practice.

To get a digital copy of the guide, visit http://www.ncjfcj.org/FASD-Guide.

About the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges (NCJFCJ):

Founded in 1937, the Reno, Nev.-based National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, is the nation’s oldest judicial membership organization and focused on improving the effectiveness of our nation’s juvenile and family courts. A leader in continuing education opportunities, research, and policy development in the field of juvenile and family justice, the 2,000-member organization is unique in providing practice-based resources to jurisdictions and communities nationwide.

Retrieved from: http://www.nevadabusiness.com/2016/06/the-national-council-of-juvenile-and-family-court-judges-ncjfcj-assists-legal-professionals-with-understanding-fetal-alcohol-spectrum-disorders-fasd/

EFAN Society Meeting Agendas: July 5, 2016

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Please join us for the next Edmonton and area Fetal Alcohol Network Society meeting on July 5, 2016. The Supports and Services meeting (for funded agencies) runs 8:30 – 9:30 am. The EFAN Society meeting runs 9:30 – 11:30 am.

The meeting will be held at the new CSS office (and EFAN office) at 10320 – 146 Street, Edmonton. Please park on the street.

Hope to see everyone there!

Please click to download the agenda! EFAN July 2016 Meeting Agendas

 

Reaching Out After an FASD Diagnosis

By FASD_Mum We all want to be ‘normal’. We want our kids to be loved. When things go wrong, our instincts are to put on a smile, pretend ‘there’s nothing to see here,’ and to brush past staring strangers. But sometimes that just doesn’t work anymore. This post is about our journey in reaching out […]

via Reaching Out After an FASD Diagnosis — FASD: Learning with Hope

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