Begging for Support — FASD: Learning with Hope

We shouldn’t have to beg for services for our teen with FASD. But we will. Oh, heck yeah, we will continue to fight for the support he needs.

There have been times in this FASD journey where I have literally been reduced to begging for the help that our son deserves and needs. Yesterday was another such day. Some boxes had been ticked somewhere in The System. I had been feeling really good for the first time in ages at the support that is in place around our child. It’s been working. It makes sense. The people involved are getting to know each other. There is a common language developing across the teams.

So, of course, without warning, yet another service had decided that because our son was doing well enough (despite having been referred here not long ago due to a series of crises) and because he had had x number of sessions, it was time to boot him out of their system.

Hold on. Wait? What?

Oh no you don’t.

Not yet.

Mamma Bear woke up and with the nicest smile she could manage laid out 10,000 reasons why this was not a good idea. We’d be happy to put all this in writing, of course, not as a complaint, but as a compliment, she said, because your service has made such an important contribution to our son’s wellbeing and because we know statistically he’s just entering the hardest years for those with FASD. You matter. This matters. Too few people out there ‘get’ FASD. We shouldn’t have to waste key NHS resources to help others who might not be familiar with our family and our son’s needs get up to speed on these things. Too often for people with FASD, it takes years for the supports to be finally put in place. Then, when they start working, they are removed. We don’t want that to happen to our son at such a critical time in his life – he’s just turning 14. We could share the stats with you if you like of the addictions, the problems with the law, the homelessness, the vulnerability he is facing as teen with FASD preparing to enter adulthood.

Please, please don’t discharge him from your service. Look – it’s been working.  We just shared with you several examples of how what you have taught him has worked. But let’s be honest, this is work you would normally do with a much younger child. What would normally come next? There are a whole host of other skills he will need to learn and master, other conversations he will need to practice. You can’t honestly believe that we are out of the woods and no other crises are likely to come up?  This service has the ability to see him until he is 19, why discharge him now?  Let’s spread out the sessions…just keep him on the books in case something else heats up. C’mon, let’s think this through.

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